Session 2…

Gearing up for second session with my doctor… She had given me a task to write all my thoughts, as in questions, that pop up in my brain down in a notebook. I have written three pages worthy questions and thoughts down. Dunno what she’s gonna do with them.

Am I gonna get some answers to the never ending questions I used to and still have? Will she give me a navigating device to travel through this maze called world a little easier? Will she provide certain solutions to my problems? I fervently hope so. Or will she make me walk the path and provide me enough hints and nudges to guide me along it? I certainly hope not as I am bound to get lost in the maze with or without the navigating device or even a guardian angel.

All these emotions bubbling inside me – I am still afloat though. Not yet drowning so that’s good.Fingers crossed and growing apprehensive by every moment…. Wonder what nugget of wisdom will tomorrow bring or will it even bring anything for me, to me?

Keep Walking…

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A Lil Messed Up…

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So I am messed up
I own it up
How do you live a life
Without right turns and wrong?

So you are messed up
You don’t own it up
You think you’re not
Then you are lying to self!

I’m not ashamed
I proudly proclaim
Have made thousand mistakes
Gonna make a thousand more.

They are all mine
None can take them away
Pieces of my life
The total sum of all.

Every bit of wisdom
Learning I have made.
Every bad decision
Merits a mention.

So I am messed up
Flavors of life
The good, bad and ugly
Just add to the spice.

So we are messed up
Rhythms of world
Survival of fittest
The weak ones are culled.

Ephemeral World…

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Happiness will pass away
Sadness will pass away
Life will pass away
Death will pass away
Success will pass away
Failure will pass away
Fulfilled promises will pass away
Broken vows will pass away
Laughter will pass away
Tears will pass away
Emotions will pass away
Emotionless will pass away
Religious will pass away
Atheist will pass away
Intellectual will pass away
Ignorant will pass away
Fame will pass away
Money will pass away
Poverty will pass away
Prosperity will pass away
Hate will pass away
Love will pass away
Loved ones will pass away
Enemies will pass away
I will pass away
You will pass away
Given enough time
Everything, everyone will pass away
And one day, even time will pass away
Wake up! Open your eyes! Search for the truth! The time is now!
Be free! Be liberated! Be happy!

An Introvert’s Letter to Her Friends…

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No! No pressure, dude! The velvet gloves might just give you some result but the iron fist! That will never work! Never! Not on me! I’ll just slide away…. Far away in my own world where silence reigns! Where I reign all alone… I am the queen of all I see… Slip away right in front of your eyes and you won’t be able to do anything to stop me… The iron fist doesn’t help… It hinders you…. Me? I am happy to have any flimsy excuse to visit my world… I love my world… There are all things of nature in my world except the ones I run away from in the first place – others like me! People! My world is made of sighing meadows, verdant forests, singing springs, chirping birds, rolling hills, snowcapped peaks, mesmerizing vistas and deep valleys, all kinds of flora and fauna…. A dreamy mist over the whole world with the sun shining through shyly…. Who wouldn’t love to live in such a world? My escape, my retreat! Why do you wonder why I would want to skip your world for a moment or more at times and take a breather in mine? It’s blissful, peaceful and so silent that you can actually hear it speak and sing and hum.

No! You are not allowed in! It’s mine, my space! Why would you want in when you think to use your iron fist on me? Don’t you know by now how useless it is against me? Love me, pamper me and let me go… I might just come back to you for more…. Each time, every time let me go…. I might just make you my friend…. Respect my space and I will know how crazy you are about me… The constant noise withers my soul, chips away my calm, handicaps me, debilitates me…. How can you even think to inflict such misery on me? The harder you try to hold on to me, the quicker I slip through your fingers… Don’t do this to yourself…. Don’t make me do it to you… Not the iron fist – no! The gentle hands, the velvet gloves, the soft smiles and silence – loads of it! I will love you for it, be your friend forever – the truest one! Why so much work you wonder? Letting go is so difficult for you. The reason you know – I am worth it… Every time….:)

Atlantis…

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Oh leave me alone in my world!
So magical, so imaginary
Let me go, leave me be
In my entrancing, enchanting world!
  
Oh so beautiful, so dangerous world
A mirage in parallel dimension.
An ignis fatuus, shadowed, veiled.
A delusion of my fertile, trained mind.
  
No gravity, no laws of the nature I know.
Exist it does, on another plane of reality.
Plants and animals so beautiful yet deadly.
Each day ushers a struggle against sanity.
  
In my world, no human breathes,
Except the ones that I let live.
No cheating selves, no lying peeps.
Only those on the basis of need.
  
Seasons change in a blink.
In myriad colours the evening tinges.
The sky and ground are upside down.
I fly around on my invisible wings.
  
My world, it’s so enchanting, entrancing!
Makes my life rich, such beauty it brings.
It underscores the meaning of my existence.
Can’t live without the daily dreams.
  
My world is truer than the reality surrounding me.
All the tangibles paler than my musings.
I am the creator of an alternate universe.
The maker and destroyer of my own Atlantis!
  
Omnipotent. omnipresent and all-knowing,
Whether past, present or future.
All are pawns on this chessboard of imagination,
Against my own self, I lose or win.