Isolation…

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Isolation in my mind
Dark shadows everywhere.
Cut apart, left adrift in the currents
Float do I in the flotsam of life.

Despair do I
Want to cry
Sometimes I cannot understand myself
A thousand emotions on a thousand shelves.

Overcrowded are they.
Pull out an emotion you may
Try but in the end of the day
A discordant symphony you play.

Discordant symphony or a cacophony
All they are, are fake, are phony
An empty mind, a desolation
Even the Doc says how bogus are my notions.

Lie heavily on my heart, does the isolation
Broken memories, false emotions
Weep, weep does my heart at the blackness
Surrounded as it is by shades of grey.

Is it all a farce played upon my mind
Or the truth of a fractured one?
I walk the thorny path of truth
Without a correct measure to enlighten.

I welcomed the numbness
In the beginning brought on by the meds
Alas, they are done for now
Isolation darkens the horizon now.

Pondering…

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If reincarnation is true and based on one’s own deeds, I wonder if one meets the same people one has already met in the past lives living the prescribed roles defined by one’s karma or does one meet new people in every new life just for the purpose of screwing over the karma some more?

A Few Harsh Truths….

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I learnt a few things today:

  1. Truth is difficult – Very much so. People might believe in the vague idea of truth being good always and might even think that they are truthful to others and themselves but ¬†when the push becomes a shove hardly anyone stands by it. It’s easier to keep on believing in things one always did than accept that one might actually be wrong. I don’t know the need for such self-deception except that it is effortless, doesn’t require intense analysis and efforts to improve oneself, to grow, develop and evolve into a better version. The unknown is vast, uncharted, immeasurable and infinitely scary. Leaving behind the known realms of self on a journey to an unknown plane takes immense inner strength, determination and the purest form of passion. It takes a pure, powerful mind free from any preconceived notions, ideas or bondage of all kinds to not only perceive truly the strange vistas one comes across on this journey as they are in their form, structure and matter but also to encompass the strange visions with wisdom, to understand and assimilate them without breaking down. Such is the quest for truth. The path is arduous with will-o-wisps leading down to bogs. One has to be very alert and attentive to their surroundings lest they be caught in a quagmire. Only the brave of heart and strong of determination can walk this path. Truth is difficult.
  2. Self-improvement is just a concept – It is like a shiny ornament. Bright and beautiful to look at and show off to others. No one is really interested in it. It is like the latest fashion trends but with a longer shelf life. People love talking about it but that’s just empty noise with no substance to it. They don’t want to improve in any way. They love existing the way they have done since the beginning. The familiar is good, is comfortable. To accept the need for self-improvement is to accept that something is wrong with the current self and that is in direct contradiction to the precept – I am perfect! Ah inertia! We human beings are the perfect example of it. We continue to be in the state that we are unless and until something happens in the external world that makes us to stop, stand, look around and take a stock of our current situation. If the occurrence is stronger than our inertia then we make changes in ourselves or our situations. If it is not, then nothing happens. We continue as we were. The problem is that in most cases, the momentum required to create the change is very huge and not everyone can have occurrences of deep impacts in their lives. We have to sensitize ourselves to even the smallest opportunities that may arise for self-improvement. Sadly, we live in a world where the senses are overwhelmed by the constant bombardment of materialistic things. So, we just build elaborate lies around us and end up believing them. We don’t look inside our minds for answers. Self improvement is just a concept.

The Question of Life…

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Mortal ties,
Material coils,
Physical lies,
Earthly foils.

Elaborate webs,
Wispy dreams we weave.
Ethereal tapestries,
To illusions we cleave.

Lives and deaths,
Infinitely looped.
The cycle unbroken,
Seduced and duped.

Daily existence,
A mirage or truth?
Questions galore,
Of old men and the youth.

The finality of death
Or just a ruse?
A change of clothes
Or payment overdue?

The wonder of life,
Mundane subsistence.
Yearning for miracles,
A quest for permanence.

The theory of evolution
Or a godly accident?
Either a normal life
Or a heavenly event.

Pretense…

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Our entire lives, we do pretend
To be happy, contented men!
Wear so many faces just to conceal,
The ugly truth of our lives real!
In the chaos – unruly, lawless,
Forget the beauty of the truth flawless!
Elaborate masks, elaborate designs,
Artful talks, scripted lines!
Tangled webs, convoluted lies
Layered meanings, broken ties!
Depths unfathomed, shallow faiths,
Hungry faces, painted wraiths!

Oh! Where is the serenity of the pure faced?
Where is the beauty of the simply laced?
Why so blinded with the dazzling lights?
Where is the yearning for pristine sights?
Oh! You foolish, foolish man!
From the fire, into the frying pan!
Keep jumping, hopping all the while,
Why not tarry in the last mile?
Unmask your face now the ball has ended,
The masquerade’s done, all trials fended!