In the Face of Adversity…

Courtesy begets courtesy. Isn’t that what we are taught in schools when we are young? What happens when we grow up? Why do we forget the lessons? Or do we forget them or adapt them as per our grown-up perspective of the situation and people involved? Obviously, it is effective being courteous to people who can understand and reciprocate in a similar vein. But what if courtesy just slips off the skin of the person who is in front of you or who takes undue/unfair advantage of your courteous behaviour? What’s the use of being repeatedly courteous to a bully or a slob who cannot or doesn’t want to change herself at all?

In social situations, you do extend common courtesy to the ones around you. But what if you have a long term acquaintance with someone and you know that despite of your courteous behaviour, the behaviour of the concerned person will not change ever and that you will have to take or handle the fall out from her actions? What do you do then? What do you do when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place? There’s no easy answer. Each handles such situations in their own unique ways. Some lose their temper, some laugh it off, some end up abusing that person – all end up unhappy! None particularly effective as none solve the primary problem.

We come to: Courtesy begins at home. Each is responsible for her own behaviour. An adult can’t be taught corrective behaviour at such a late juncture. One can advise but one can’t enforce. An adult chooses the way she wants to behave. So, if you feel so bad about someone being discourteous to you, then take a step back and think. Think if it is the fault of that person’s nature or a reflection on your own. One can only try to change one’s own habits and nature and that’s easier said than done. So, how can you expect someone else to change their behaviour overnight? Having said that, in a social scenario, one has to be alert that one’s behaviour or habit does not create nuisance for other people. One has to be socially aware and socially accountable for one’s behaviour. But, sadly, we don’t see that happening. We are so busy in our lives that we are just focused on our own tasks and responsibilities. We don’t care if we make life tough for other people. We are narrow-minded. We refuse to see the broader picture. We are willfully blind. At least, that’s what I think – when someone clearly elucidates the rules of engagement between two people, two departments, two companies or even two nations, then how can you expect amicability to exist between the said parties if one party does not follow the rules and just flouts them? Amicability can never exist between two parties who can never exist in the face of willful misbehaviour. Courtesy is shot to hell.

But then, if you cannot maintain courteous behaviour in times of adversity, then you are not a true gentleman or a lady. Courtesy is not only for times of peace. Only because one party is acting like a neanderthal, one may not descend to their level and behave in a similar fashion.

Never lose focus that human life is about self advancement, self-improvement and self-actualization. Rest all is secondary, tertiary or unimportant.

Keep trying… Keep walking…

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Dear Friend…

lonely-girl_2

I fought with you yesterday,

And I do feel sad for it…

But I was all confused yesterday

I couldn’t articulate myself then

Hence the silence since last night

Silence helps me to understand

My emotions (I’m no expert at them)

You know how they handicap me

And that’s the reason I make

Such few true friends I have

My friends are my safety net

My sanity against the crazy shit!

I can’t comprehend lies

Either by prevarication, omission or an outright one

Since I find truth so easy,

Especially among those who are cozy

And comfortable with each other…

There is no logic in lies

When we can swap truths easily

Since we are so close

And we trust each other so!

I worry about you dear friend

When you are sad

I want to know your pain

To put a smile back on your face!

But I am hurt when you don’t share

Rather you just blow away my care

You make up some excuses to

Fob me off, stop my questions too…

I don’t mind if you just tell me

“It’s something that I can’t tell”

I will respect your privacy

Let you deal with it as well…

What I can’t understand is the need you have

To lie or prevaricate to me

I’ve never done this to you

And I can’t comprehend your reason for it…

This morning I woke up

And realized my problem

So thought here to write it…

Couldn’t do the same yesternight

Hence my silence since…

I hope you understand my concerns

I hope you come up with a solution

Can’t talk to you outright about it

So here is my peace offering…