Question…

Is it true that after a certain age you need someone? Or is it possible to have your cake and eat it too? I find myself pondering this question with increasing frequency nowadays yet I’m nowhere near enough to an answer, a revelation of sorts…

There’s also the fear of rejection from one as I have BPD… I wonder if the fear is justified…

Till then…

Keep Walking…

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Wondering…

I wonder sometimes about if I really feel emotions or if I just fake them…. How does one validate the authenticity of what one’s feeling? Or can one even validate emotions?

Does the breaking of your heart, the pain in your soul inform you about the emotional upheaval you are going through or does it just mislead you towards a man-made quagmire of lies, deceit, unruly thoughts, unfinished dreams, etc?

Maybe I’m not supposed to know… Maybe it’s my destiny to roam these vales without any answer to soothe my mind and heart and soul. I don’t know… Still.,.

I keep walking…

On My Way…

On my way
Of this life
I feel wonder
I feel strife

I daily question
The nature of it
Then laugh again
In the next bit.

What is it
That makes up this life?
Is it the small joys
Or the pain that’s rife?

The souls I meet
In this journey
Are they mates?
Or competitiors in some tourney?

What is life?
I daily wonder
The smile of innocent
Or the wicked’s plunder?

To comprehend I try
I struggle and struggle
But in the end
Is it worth the trouble?

Life is made of
Such paradoxes
Births and Deaths
Concaves and Convexes

I daily question
The nature of it
Then laugh again
In the next bit.

And then I think
What would I do?
If I knew it all
Pain and pleasure too.

It’s better to leave
Some mystery to life
Brighter is the world then
Lessens the pain and strife.

I no more question
The nature of it
Just laugh again
Now and in the next bit.

There I Go…

lifeanddeath
There I go today
Weaving my dreams
Into tapestries
Of unspoken promises and love.

Here I tarry a bit
By the silver streams
Or a narrow fjord
Somewhere between the green hills.

I soak in the sun
Fly away with the summer breeze
Melt in the ocean deep
Race with the wild winds.

There we go today
From sunrise towards the night
There we go today
From darkness towards the light

Life keeps alternating
Between dawn and moonbright
But in the twilight
It’s just eyes shut tight.

There we go everyday
Follow step by step
Our own shadows do we
Chase round and round.

I’ve got nothing to give
I depart with empty hands
But for smiles or tears
I leave with nothing else.

The Watcher…

Eye

The watcher inside me
The one beyond sight
See and see and see
No malice yet might

It keeps sentry
Day or night
No end, no entry
No dark, no light

One day I’ll be one with it
One day I’ll see all that it sees
One day I’ll watch all that rises does fall
One day I’ll feel all alive does die
One day I’ll sense all dead beings rising
One day I’ll whisper the key to living
One day I’ll teach the one language to all!

The Question of Life…

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Mortal ties,
Material coils,
Physical lies,
Earthly foils.

Elaborate webs,
Wispy dreams we weave.
Ethereal tapestries,
To illusions we cleave.

Lives and deaths,
Infinitely looped.
The cycle unbroken,
Seduced and duped.

Daily existence,
A mirage or truth?
Questions galore,
Of old men and the youth.

The finality of death
Or just a ruse?
A change of clothes
Or payment overdue?

The wonder of life,
Mundane subsistence.
Yearning for miracles,
A quest for permanence.

The theory of evolution
Or a godly accident?
Either a normal life
Or a heavenly event.