I made a solemn promise to myself yesterday that I would get back to blogging from today onwards. So, here goes nothing…

Umm… I am supposed to write a whole page about something but I don’t know what. Should I write about the enforced sabbatical I had to take from the professional world due to some psychiatric problems or should I focus on the path I have been walking on since these problems cropped up? Can’t make up my mind, drawing a blank every time. Lemme see. I will start with the problems that I have been facing for almost twenty months now…

Once upon a time in a galaxy far too near, on planet Earth lived this organic form, called a human being in the native language, who was suffering from depression. Let us see what steps it took to cure itself.

  1. It consulted a psychiatrist who promptly hospitalised it and prescribed meds to begin the process of transforming it from a human being to zombie.
  2. Finally, after a substantial amount of time had passed, it started rebelling coz it didn’t want to be a zombie anymore. As a first step towards that goal, it switched the mental health providers, i.e. doctors. The new doctor changed all the medicines and prescribed a psychological test too (conveniently the test was in MCQ format) to find the main culprit for the depression. The test revealed the root cause – BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder.
  3. The human being tried to understand the nature of the culprit but wasn’t really able to grasp the concept in its entirety. Thus, began the long process of struggle with it. Several epic wars were fought over the course of twenty months to defeat the culprit. Finally, the day arrived when the enemy was defeated. The human being won. How? Coz the enemy’s nature was laid bare. The moment the enemy’s nature was revealed, the path to defeating it lay wide open.

Of course, the path is long, tedious and full of hurdles but I have already taken so many steps down the road. There is no turning back. Every person in this world struggles to achieve one thing or another. My struggle is for just my peace, my well-being and of those around me. I keep taking one step at a time. Step by step the journey will be completed. In the meanwhile, I just have to make that extra effort…find the strength to stand up after each time I fall down. Hurdles only mean more power, more strength which is all good news for me.

Keep Walking…



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There is no freedom at the bottom of the bottle… Any form of addiction, even in its mildest dose, brings only more shackles…more chains…more bonds…

There is no freedom anywhere unless you understand the impermanence and uncertainty permeating every sphere of your life – people, situations, emotions, everything!
You were born strong… So, why give up now? Why make it your crutch? Just persist for a little while more and you will have reached the core of strength inside you. Touch it, draw from it… Free yourself…

The Fissure Remains…

19 Weathered Rock

And it breaks,

Softly, silently

Not even the littlest tremble.

The fissure remains buried deep,

The smallest nudge could crumble

It into million pieces.

The perpetrator remains oblivious,

Head in clouds,

Light as a feather.

There’s nothing else I would

Want for them but to

Be unaware of the chain

Of reaction caused by their actions.

‘Cause innocence lost

Is lost forever.

Pieces of soul given up,

Can’t be retrieved at any convenient time.

As one might wish

Once the event is past.

Remain pure and unblemished,

One pays the price for fairness

‘Cause innocence lost is knowledge gained,

Through rocky paths and brambles.

Choice once made can’t be revoked,

What’s lost can’t be regained..

What’s gained can’t be ungained..

And in the meantime the fissure remains,

Buried deep – a million cracks.

Softly, silently it crumbles,

With age, with time, it weathers.

A Promise…


I have made a promise
To myself
To keep on walking
Until the end
To persevere
Against all the odds.
‘Coz when it gets tougher
The rough gets rougher.
The bets are higher.
The winnings greater
Just need to stick a bit long.
Smile, sweat and song.
It is a lone struggle
Against the very nature
The lessons of yore
Stacks of customs and mores.
A steep incline
I climb and climb.
Sores on my feet
Fire in my soul.
Now that I see the path.
I can’t do nothing but walk.
To be willfully blind
Is the height of folly.

At The End Of The Road…


Tired old husk,
A solemn soft dusk,
The closing of a chapter
At the end of a laughter.

The ceasing of the tide,
The last joy ride.
A life lived enough
X times easy, x times tough.

Some actions good and bad,
Of moments dark and sad.
One last fallacy
A yearning for normalcy.

A lingering trace of presence,
An affirmation of existence,
The comfort of a loving hug,
On the heartstrings, an insistent tug.

A leaf pressed between the pages,
A memory mellowed with ages,
A smile, a step, a hushed silence,
A last glance lit up with radiance.


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So you need me to say
The words in which
I can tell you
How much I miss you?

Words – what do they mean?
Real, made up, faked
I might not always be true
When I say things to you.

So you need me to say
The words in which
I can tell you
How much I need you?

Can’t you just read my eyes?
Know from the beating of my heart
My every single breath is yours
In this life and beyond these shores.

Love is like a full moon night
Simple, silent, constant, bright.
No written vows nor spoken words
It’s a communion of two souls pure.