Being Selfish…

Being selfish is absolutely fine sometimes when you can see no other way out of a situation…when being selfish is the only path available to you, you take that path…you walk it….you protect yourself….what do you do when you see others protecting themselves in a flood…during an avalanche…so all you need to do is ignore your instincts and become selfish…you PROTECT YOURSELF…And it’s absolutely fine with the society too… who ever thought of that… A hypocritical society we live in…. A society that extols selflessness as a virtue in times of leisure and lauds selfishness in dire times. So, go ahead, be selfish! Who thought there would be such commendation in something so wicked…

I had this experience in recent times… Turned to a friend when I was in dire need and my friend turned on me instead and told me to be independent and to stop being so whiny and dependent on others (others being my family and closest friends – count being 2)…basically called me a dead weight…. so here I am being selfish the way I know how to be. I have decided not to be a dead weight to anyone who is unwilling to be a participant in carrying my load of BPD with me. Why bog down reluctant people with my issues, my needs? Relationships are meant to be symbiotic not parasitic…even more so with me coz I have special needs… Of all relationships, friendship is the only one which enjoys unparalleled equal footing. When that is lost, the friendship is doomed…mine was too… So, I became selfish…already have so much load on me…then why carry one more load of a doomed relationship?

But Always,

Keep Walking…

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At The End Of The Road…

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Tired old husk,
A solemn soft dusk,
The closing of a chapter
At the end of a laughter.

The ceasing of the tide,
The last joy ride.
A life lived enough
X times easy, x times tough.

Some actions good and bad,
Of moments dark and sad.
One last fallacy
A yearning for normalcy.

A lingering trace of presence,
An affirmation of existence,
The comfort of a loving hug,
On the heartstrings, an insistent tug.

A leaf pressed between the pages,
A memory mellowed with ages,
A smile, a step, a hushed silence,
A last glance lit up with radiance.

The Parting Kiss…

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It was just a kiss,
A kiss it was,
That sealed my lips!
But the meaning was deeper,
Deeper than the seas!

He was departing from me
For ages unknown.
Leaving me to see,
To care for his unborn child.
His sorrow, his agony,
I could but feel!

There he lay,
His dreams half-dreamt,
His heart slowing,
I stood by him,
My emotions stirring,
A fading portrait I was seeing…

He said it all in his kiss,
Spoke through it these words to me:
“If life be there after this, dearest,
I’ll wait for you an eternity,
In the land of angels,
In perfect bliss!”

And when he carried on,
His journey to lands unseen,
Neither sob nor say,
Did my mouth betray
‘Cause my love wasn’t snatched away
In my womb it snugly lay!