Dark thoughts come crowding in my brain,
My mind lives in partial darkness
Don’t know any more wrong from right
In one view, scheme’s greenery and bleakness.
Feels like a desert night-time,
Myriad thoughts like million scattered stars.
Dry and cold and brilliant hues
Jagged soul scars of many wars.
The road is barren, is hard, is tough
The promise of an oasis just round the bend
Palm trees and water to nourish the soul
To make it brand new, healthy and whole.
Comes crowding in, does the darkness
Like a slithering serpent with a sibilant hiss
Pours its venom, poisons the mind
No more hues, just blue and its kind.
And still the fight remains,
Between light and darkness
A war zone inside my brain
Missiles, shards, empty shells
The carcass of one in this mess.
Posted in Dark, internal world, Poem, Uncategorized |
Tagged BPD, carcass, crowd, dark, darkness, fight, light, mind, poison, Psychiatric, struggle, thoughts, thughts, war zone |
Lost in a whirlpool am I,
Sometimes I surface,
As the white foam,
In the sunshine, I dry away.
Rest I rest at the bottom,
In form of the vortex,
That lies underneath,
Belying the truth,
Trapping the unwary.
All that glitters is not gold,
Calm on the surface,
Hidden currents beneath.
Once you are caught,
Only death is your escape,
While alive it is a herculean task.
So what is it you are –
A carcass of blood and bones
Or a mighty warrior of past?
Posted in Dark, Poem, self quest, Uncategorized |
Tagged currents, darkness, death, hidded, hope, hopeless, human strength, life beyond death, loast, suicide, sunshine, thoughts, vortex, whirlpool |
Beauty.. Peace… Love… Happiness…
A time to think, rethink…meditate, contemplate….
A time to review, rehash, revise, revive…
To make amends…
Misery… Pain… Anguish… Darkness…
A time to think, rethink, burn, blame…
A time to review, rehash, despair, cry…
An ode to torment…
Posted in Dark, Individual, internal world, Self, Thoughts, Uncategorized |
Tagged alone, aloneness, beauty, blame, burn, contemplate, darkness, dependence, despondency, difference, happiness, independence, loneliness, lonely, meaning, meditate, misery, ode, pain, pondering, thought |
The dark path or the path towards light… It’s a choice… The path towards light is good, is right…. But the dark path – oh so tempting!
I resist the temptation…. Moment by moment…. A moment resisted is a moment conquered….
Keep resisting… Keep walking…
Posted in Hope, Life, Self, Thoughts |
Tagged choice, darkness, fight, inspiration, light, motivation, path, right, struggle, temptation, wrong |
I am zombified
A 10mg and a 0.5 one
Kicked my ass
Stole my humanity
My thoughts, my words, my brain
Made me a zombie.
I drag my legs
Dash against the curves
In my path.
My eyes are dulled
A haze obscures my world
My hearing’s gonna
My reasoning’s sluggish.
Thick, dark, murky waters
Chug me down
I see the people from a distance
A fathoms deep crevice
Betwixt me and them.
I push and push
I try to write
Won’t go down
Without a fight.
My fingers slow on the keyboard
A vacuum fills me inside
All thoughts sucked – I, my and me
Going, going, gone
Last line of this song.
Posted in Dark, Poem, Self |
Tagged dark, darkness, disconnect, distance, drugs, dull eyes, fight, haze, loss of control, medicines, mental control, mind, mind altering, social disconnect, vacuum, Zombie, zombieland, zombified |
No up or down
No sight or sound.
A deep sentience
An infinite existence
An immortal being
Reason for living
In the gloaming
Life and death
A vicious circle.
Posted in Dark, Poem, Spirituality |
Tagged circle, dark, darkness, darkness within, death, downward spiral, drown, drowning, existence, freedom, gloaming, immortal, infinity, living, meaning of life, meditation, nirvana, quest, self, senses, sentience, spiral, spirituality |
I am trapped
Show me the way
Please oh please
Something show me the way.
I am caught
In a web of lies and deceit
My lungs burn for air
Suffocating against the weave.
The urge to thrash
Against the ropes
The walls that I am lashed.
The skin off my bones
In blind panic
Hurl against the stones.
My throat’s on fire
An agony in my stomach
I dream a pyre.
My soul rattles and clangs
A fight for freedom
A dirge it sang.
High above the clouds
No darkness shrouds.
Posted in Dark, Poem, Self |
Tagged chains, dark, dark psyche, dark thoughts, darkness, death, dungeon, emotional, emotions, freedom, hurt, introvert, mind, psyche, salvation, spiritual, suffering, suffocation, thirst, trap, trapped |