I wonder sometimes about if I really feel emotions or if I just fake them…. How does one validate the authenticity of what one’s feeling? Or can one even validate emotions?
Does the breaking of your heart, the pain in your soul inform you about the emotional upheaval you are going through or does it just mislead you towards a man-made quagmire of lies, deceit, unruly thoughts, unfinished dreams, etc?
Maybe I’m not supposed to know… Maybe it’s my destiny to roam these vales without any answer to soothe my mind and heart and soul. I don’t know… Still.,.
I wonder if it is in the nature and make-up of a human being to hurt another human being, either advertently or inadvertently. But hurt someone, she must as she can’t help it. She can’t make everyone happy with her actions. So, she is going to hurt someone or the other. All she can ensure is whether the hurt is rational, reasonable or irrational, unreasonable. Sometimes, despite of doing everything, despite of trying to interpret and control all the elements of a situation, it isn’t possible to predict all the variables, successfully juggle all the different balls in the air. One must fall down. One does fall down. So, what does she do? She ends up hurting someone. She does hurt someone.
So, what if she ends up hurting someone? Should she stop living in the perpetual fear of being hurt and hurting someone in return? Should she just curl up and die? No! Life is meant for the living. And so long as she is alive and breathing, she has the responsibility towards herself to live fully, freely. So, what if it is scary? Everything worthwhile is! And life is eminently worthwhile….
Die once and trying to come back to life is a herculean task. Dying daily is worse. Why not take a chance at life? Live a little…. Make oneself happy…. One cannot ensure other’s happiness… So why not just ensure one’s happiness first? Only a happy mind and body can make others happy coz as one can’t help but hurt someone similarly one can’t help but make someone happy by her actions… Two sides of the same coin…
Life is what you make of it… Or so you are told continuously… If life gives you lemons, make lemonade… Just that no one tells you where to get the sugar or salt from… You need to figure that part out for yourself… And the sooner you figure that out, the happier will you be… Coz then you would have discovered the key to your happiness… And yes… It lies within you… No externalization of happiness… It always comes from within… That does suck sometimes but that’s how it works… That’s how it is…
We spend our lives reacting to the happenings and situations around us. We rarely take control of the situations. Happenings, situations take control of us and then take us on a roller coaster ride. Better it is to take control of situations. Better it is to act rather than react. I have decided to act from now on even if it kills me and situations never killed nobody ever. They may be mighty uncomfortable and not to my liking but if I act upon them then at least I’ll have the comfort of knowing that I did what was best for me, not for anyone else.