Just A Lil Bit…

Whenever I have to travel out of station and leave my family behind, it feels like I’m leaving a part of me behind, as if I am dying just a little bit. I’m reluctant to do so. It’s mighty uncomfortable. I don’t know if it is a part of having BPD or just being me but I certainly don’t enjoy it. I love traveling to different places but I just hate the start of it when I am feeling all sentimental.

I wonder if I’ll ever feel normal about traveling except for when I am with my family. Or maybe I am just overthinking again.

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Today…

Tired feet

Turn to home

Someone’s at the door

Wait in their eyes.

Tired feet

Go home now

It’s time to rest

And rejuvenate a bit.

Tired feet

The day is past

Welcome the night

It’s calm, soothing presence.

Tired feet

The feathers call

Sink in the warmth

In the lover’s arms, fall.

Tired feet

Dream awhile

Tomorrow will be

Today’s an isle.

My Musings…

So published my first book today using Kindle Direct Publishing tool… The name of my book is – My Musings… Feeling elated and apprehensive at the same time… So many questions in my mind. It is a short collection of 25 of my poems. The ebook is available in the Kindle store whereas the paperback is available on the Amazon site (www.amazon.com). If you really love my poems and would like to have them with you forever, then you can buy the book and support me at the same time.

Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1981000224?selectObb=new

Ebook – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CTNT1BW

Kind of at loose ends right now… Mood’s swinging like a pendulum from left to right…or is it right to left…doesn’t matter anyways….

Thank you everybody for giving me the courage to do something like this…It’s been an arduous journey…Still a long road to go….Just thank you….

Till then…

Keep Walking…

THE STORY…

I made a solemn promise to myself yesterday that I would get back to blogging from today onwards. So, here goes nothing…

Umm… I am supposed to write a whole page about something but I don’t know what. Should I write about the enforced sabbatical I had to take from the professional world due to some psychiatric problems or should I focus on the path I have been walking on since these problems cropped up? Can’t make up my mind, drawing a blank every time. Lemme see. I will start with the problems that I have been facing for almost twenty months now…

Once upon a time in a galaxy far too near, on planet Earth lived this organic form, called a human being in the native language, who was suffering from depression. Let us see what steps it took to cure itself.

  1. It consulted a psychiatrist who promptly hospitalised it and prescribed meds to begin the process of transforming it from a human being to zombie.
  2. Finally, after a substantial amount of time had passed, it started rebelling coz it didn’t want to be a zombie anymore. As a first step towards that goal, it switched the mental health providers, i.e. doctors. The new doctor changed all the medicines and prescribed a psychological test too (conveniently the test was in MCQ format) to find the main culprit for the depression. The test revealed the root cause – BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder.
  3. The human being tried to understand the nature of the culprit but wasn’t really able to grasp the concept in its entirety. Thus, began the long process of struggle with it. Several epic wars were fought over the course of twenty months to defeat the culprit. Finally, the day arrived when the enemy was defeated. The human being won. How? Coz the enemy’s nature was laid bare. The moment the enemy’s nature was revealed, the path to defeating it lay wide open.

Of course, the path is long, tedious and full of hurdles but I have already taken so many steps down the road. There is no turning back. Every person in this world struggles to achieve one thing or another. My struggle is for just my peace, my well-being and of those around me. I keep taking one step at a time. Step by step the journey will be completed. In the meanwhile, I just have to make that extra effort…find the strength to stand up after each time I fall down. Hurdles only mean more power, more strength which is all good news for me.

Keep Walking…

At The End Of The Road…

image

Tired old husk,
A solemn soft dusk,
The closing of a chapter
At the end of a laughter.

The ceasing of the tide,
The last joy ride.
A life lived enough
X times easy, x times tough.

Some actions good and bad,
Of moments dark and sad.
One last fallacy
A yearning for normalcy.

A lingering trace of presence,
An affirmation of existence,
The comfort of a loving hug,
On the heartstrings, an insistent tug.

A leaf pressed between the pages,
A memory mellowed with ages,
A smile, a step, a hushed silence,
A last glance lit up with radiance.

An Evensong…

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The sun goes down,
The stars peep out,
Ocean waves get high,
The moon calls by.

The breeze cools down,
All mellow sounds now,
Twinkling lights crop up,
In the distance!

The birds fly away,
To their well-earned rest,
Crickets and cicadas,
Join in the fest.

Night flowers bloom,
Fade away the gloom,
The moths by candle-light,
Dance in soft delight.

“All the day beings,
Settle in their nests.
Ye tired feet,
It’s time for some rest!”

“Now come back home,
Lay down your concerns,
By the warmth of the hearth,
Tarry your tired bones.”

“In the coze of the dark,
Dream away the night.
In the arms of your beloved
Greet the dawn of the light!”

The Parting Kiss…

Baby1

It was just a kiss,
A kiss it was,
That sealed my lips!
But the meaning was deeper,
Deeper than the seas!

He was departing from me
For ages unknown.
Leaving me to see,
To care for his unborn child.
His sorrow, his agony,
I could but feel!

There he lay,
His dreams half-dreamt,
His heart slowing,
I stood by him,
My emotions stirring,
A fading portrait I was seeing…

He said it all in his kiss,
Spoke through it these words to me:
“If life be there after this, dearest,
I’ll wait for you an eternity,
In the land of angels,
In perfect bliss!”

And when he carried on,
His journey to lands unseen,
Neither sob nor say,
Did my mouth betray
‘Cause my love wasn’t snatched away
In my womb it snugly lay!