Sinner…

Far far away

A never place

No escape

Dark, dark landscape.

Twilight dreams

Stifled screams

Crushed essence

Stale fragrance.

Soulless villain

Slowly killin’

Suffocating voice

Inescapable choice.

Crucible wrought

Or mother’s sloth

Burned anew

Wroth renew.

Won’t spare I those who did this to me

I’ll avenge me like Hell’s Fury

Cross my path and I’ll kill thee

No rainbows lovely, dark, thirsty I be!

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Flown Away…

All the angels have flown away

I’ve had them driven away

I cared not if they were

’round to care for me

Safeguard my soul

From the devil of temptation

Dripping desires each ephemeral second

My immortal soul’s in trouble

Now that the angels have deserted me

I knew not of their heavenly presence

For only when they went away

Was I made aware of the fact.

Till then I thought I lived a charmed life

No struggle, no pain, no needless strife.

But now that the angels have all gone away

It’s just one endless, endless night

A giant vacuum, no end in sight.

Now that all angels have finally flown away…

The End…

Loneliness comes creeping in

I can’t tell where do I begin

To tell the story of

My loneliness.

The emptiness is haunting me

Taunting me with room spacey

What do I do with

My emptiness.

Tears come in torrents

Try to threaten

The dry, barren land,

With floods, they do.

Soulful, soul deep,

Sorrow’s reign.

Infinite loop

Nowhere’s the end.

Just A Lil Bit…

Whenever I have to travel out of station and leave my family behind, it feels like I’m leaving a part of me behind, as if I am dying just a little bit. I’m reluctant to do so. It’s mighty uncomfortable. I don’t know if it is a part of having BPD or just being me but I certainly don’t enjoy it. I love traveling to different places but I just hate the start of it when I am feeling all sentimental.

I wonder if I’ll ever feel normal about traveling except for when I am with my family. Or maybe I am just overthinking again.

Today…

Tired feet

Turn to home

Someone’s at the door

Wait in their eyes.

Tired feet

Go home now

It’s time to rest

And rejuvenate a bit.

Tired feet

The day is past

Welcome the night

It’s calm, soothing presence.

Tired feet

The feathers call

Sink in the warmth

In the lover’s arms, fall.

Tired feet

Dream awhile

Tomorrow will be

Today’s an isle.

Mirror

Broken mirror

Shards galore

A million reflections

Whole no more.

Fractured identity

Confusion’s reign

A thousand splits

Unity to feign?

Personalities differ

Existence’s bane

Moods aswing

Mundane or sane?

Weighty issue

Crushed beneath

No Atlas mighty

No laurel wreath.

Struggle accustomed

Accustomed yearning

Infinite loop

Caught in the churning.

“Me” Time…

Drawing a blank each time I think of writing something…. If I lose this then there are only a few things left with me which are worth living for…. The bad dark is coming closer and closer today….is clinging too close to the surface….I wish to shoo it away but I am just too tired…wish someone could do it for me…take away the bad darkness and leave me in peace with the good, soothing darkness so that I could just draw it deep inside me, hide in it and relax and rejuvenate a little bit…sink deep in it….take a little break from the world around me…I need some “me” time…not going to get it any time soon…waiting for next week to come as soon as possible…going for a Vipassana retreat….it will be 10 days of total fun for me…lots of peace, silence and “me” time…. Patience, dear heart, patience…next week is not that far…

In the meanwhile…

Keep Walking…