1. Self preservation is one of the strongest and deepest human instincts.
2. There are degrees of introversion.
3. There are degrees of friendship.
If there is a choice between hurting others or self (by talking to people/going for an outing or a party), most of the times I choose others because whenever I hurt myself, I go into deeper ‘social’ seclusion and that helps no one. Rather, it hurts and alienates more people than originally intended. Also, there are degrees of friendship: the acquaintances, the good friends and lastly, the best ones. The social time one spends with one’s friends/acquaintances depends on the degree of friendship between the concerned parties. It is true for all the people and nothing short of gospel truth when it comes to introverts. So, sometimes it is a trade-off between not going out with the acquaintances/good friends and spending quality time with the best friends one feels most comfortable with. Eminently logical. Obviously, one has to spend at least some time with one’s friends and acquaintances so as to maintain the relationship. But majority of the time can be spent with the best friends because that’s what one really wants to do and it makes one happy.
Now the problem arises when an introvert needs a break from even the closest of friends (this depends on how introverted one is). Making your closest friends understand that you need a break from talking/spending time with them for a while is tough especially when you don’t know how long it will take for you to recharge your ‘social’ batteries. They will understand you if they are introverts. But if they are not, then they can only try without any guarantee of success since trying to comprehend something that is completely alien to one’s own nature is very, very tough! It’s like explaining light to a blind person or music to a deaf one…. Never truly understandable! I have a few extrovert friends who make valiant efforts to understand but never really do and that’s perfectly fine as I too cannot, for the life of me, ever understand their need to talk/chat and meet/party and live in each other’s pockets as frequently as they want to.
So does it hurt your friend/acquaintance when you say ‘no’ to an outing or don’t reply? Yes it does. But in the end, it’s all about self-preservation and the choices one makes and has to live with. So long as you are perfectly comfortable with the ones you have made, it’s fine! No individual is responsible for other individual’s happiness. First, one has to learn the art of making oneself happy. Only then can one make the people who really matter to one happy! Only a mind at peace with itself can think about others, be generous to them and bring a semblance of happiness in their lives…
Mind you I am not saying that you can be rude to people around you as and when you want to or make introversion your excuse for doing so. All I am saying is think carefully before taking any action as that’s the way to happiness and peace…:-)
What does it matter whether there is a God or not? So long as whatever you believe in comforts you when you need comfort, encourages and motivates you when you need courage and motivation, inspires you when you need inspiration, becomes a shoulder to cry on or a punching bag when you want to let out these feelings trapped inside you and last but not the least, brings you peace when you most need it – is enough!
That’s it! Go ahead! Create a scene… Tears and snot! Recriminations… Play the “blame” ping pong…Just don’t ever do something useful…something that might actually help! Don’t ever stand up and take responsibility for anything… Zero accountability… Zero trust… Or maybe you are in the negative numbers now! Don’t ever use the brains you were born with…logic is a word you haven’t even heard… It does not exist in your world! But then, majority of people are like you… Maybe I am the odd one here too… Collective mindset huh!
All I want is for people to be reasonable, be rational, to make sense at least once in their twice damned lives…. How is it that you don’t do what you say and hold me wrong if I call you out on that… I tried the velvet gloves, the iron hand, the friend and foe approaches… But nothing has ever worked on you… All experiments have ended up in failure! At my tether’s end!
If there be a heavenly presence ever, I pray thee to deliver me from this daily torture!
It’s only when the object of temptation is removed from the immediate vicinity of a person for an extended period of time that one can think clearly, rationally. It’s a rare type of people who can think rationally even in sight of their temptations. That takes special practice and extraordinary self-control.
In view of our temptations, all of us regress to the animalistic nature from which we evolved and that is still such an inherent part of our make-up. That does bring up the question if we are all done evolving or can we expect a better, more advanced version of ourselves in the future? Then I wonder what would be the future of those of us who are not able to upgrade themselves to the new and advanced version of humanity?
So…coming back… what I have found to be particularly useful is – get yourself away from your temptations, go back to your more rational self and then take any life-altering decisions. As an added precaution, sit on the decision for a couple of days and even after that if you think the decision is right, then go ahead and execute it! That way you will have a higher probability of success than failure in your decisions and lesser regret to live with in case of a failure. That way you will have the control of your baser nature; not the other way round…:-)
1. One is one’s own strength… That’s what this life is all about – finding one’s strength within oneself… And when one finds it, it is one’s responsibility to nurture it and care for it the way one’s does for one’s own baby…until one day it grows so strong and mature that it is capable of making it’s own decisions, overcoming any tragedy, any mishap, any hurdle and ultimately, help in realizing the future one dreamt of…
2. In every struggle between the brain and the heart, let the brain win every time and you won’t have to regret any decision ever.