Life in Binary…

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A keen sense of loss,
Intense is the desolation,
Dreary seems the world,
I’m going through the motions.

The motions that are necessary,
If you want to call yourself alive,
Though I do wonder what use is life,
When it’s just meant for pain and strife.

Or is one meant to,
Conquer all and emerge a hero?
What use is such analysis,
If the only denominator is zero?

The zero that begets infinity,
An infinity of life and death,
And whatever goes in between,
A recurring chain of binary!

All human lives and actions,
Replaced with zero and one,
That I see no exceptions,
Similar patterns, unique none!

Now I see the code of life,
Everything is suddenly clear,
There’s no pain or strife anymore
Only the path to action!

Leave Me Be…

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What else do I mean to you,
Except for a girl with issues!
I see you getting bored with me,
Going crazy with my highs and lows.

I wonder what I could have done different,
Told you everything in the very beginning,
Even warned you against the mercurial being,
That resided along with the normal me.

You presumed you could handle it all,
Which was your first wrong thought.
I shouted, I screamed , begged you to leave me,
But you never heard the “no” that my lips wrought!

Now that you have become my habit,
You want to just shrug me off,
I can’t believe your words that fall on my ears,
Still can’t trust the proof of it.

‘Cause you see I believed in you,
To be more than a fair-weather friend,
Never thought you would give it up so easy,
Just as the terrain became a bit tough!

I know I am hard to live with,
But at least you could have given your best,
You think I ask too much from you,
But your heart knows I first passed this test…

Now you expect me to break down and cry,
Then you’ll be waiting for it a long time,
My mind is precious, my tears too,
To waste on you further as this is the end…

Self-Mockery…

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Millstone, lodestone
All the stones I know,
None of the precious ones
I’m just the heavy one!

Round your neck I go,
Bow you down with my weight.
On your back if you lift,
I move your center of gravity.

I am a heavy load,
On your free soul,
Crush your joy beneath my feet,
Your days I foul!

My selfishness is exemplary,
I drone on narcissistically,
My joys and sorrows you have to know,
My mood swings legendary!

So take me off,
Throw me away,
Give up the burden
And fly away!

Lost At Sea…

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I am so lost,
Floundering in this sea,
Made of humans,
No landmark I see!

Strewn it is with,
Faces familiar and strange,
Choked it is with
Heartbreak, happiness
Sweet love, broken dreams!

Paradoxical emotions,
Create the chaos,
Churn and burn.
Underneath the surface,
A deadly maze!

The depths I can’t gauge,
Just know that I’m drowning,
Deep and deep.
Can’t feel the floor,
Beneath my feet.

My arms flail around,
I can’t stay aloft!
I fight against the currents,
A battle I have lost!
The final end is near…

The water closes,
Above my head.
Darkness surrounds me,
In peaceful embrace.
Gently, softly, I let go all
A beatific smile on my face…

Dear Friend…

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I fought with you yesterday,

And I do feel sad for it…

But I was all confused yesterday

I couldn’t articulate myself then

Hence the silence since last night

Silence helps me to understand

My emotions (I’m no expert at them)

You know how they handicap me

And that’s the reason I make

Such few true friends I have

My friends are my safety net

My sanity against the crazy shit!

I can’t comprehend lies

Either by prevarication, omission or an outright one

Since I find truth so easy,

Especially among those who are cozy

And comfortable with each other…

There is no logic in lies

When we can swap truths easily

Since we are so close

And we trust each other so!

I worry about you dear friend

When you are sad

I want to know your pain

To put a smile back on your face!

But I am hurt when you don’t share

Rather you just blow away my care

You make up some excuses to

Fob me off, stop my questions too…

I don’t mind if you just tell me

“It’s something that I can’t tell”

I will respect your privacy

Let you deal with it as well…

What I can’t understand is the need you have

To lie or prevaricate to me

I’ve never done this to you

And I can’t comprehend your reason for it…

This morning I woke up

And realized my problem

So thought here to write it…

Couldn’t do the same yesternight

Hence my silence since…

I hope you understand my concerns

I hope you come up with a solution

Can’t talk to you outright about it

So here is my peace offering…

A Day At Office…

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Getting bored at my desk,
After lunch I feel sleepy,
And if I don’t get some rest
I’ll either scream or get all weepy!

The drudgery of each day at office,
Has made me so slow like a tortoise,
And when I thought myself a rabbit –
Now all day I do is make some noise!

I am surrounded on all sides by idiots,
I wonder how they are okay without brains,
I ponder frequently on this problem
‘Til all my formidable power drains!

Now after these long years,
One thing that I have realized,
The smart are the rare commodity,
Whereas idiots are the way of life!

So, why do you feel so blue my friend?
One day the world will change again!
And it will belong to you and me
The idiots will be off the train!

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The Parting Kiss…

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It was just a kiss,
A kiss it was,
That sealed my lips!
But the meaning was deeper,
Deeper than the seas!

He was departing from me
For ages unknown.
Leaving me to see,
To care for his unborn child.
His sorrow, his agony,
I could but feel!

There he lay,
His dreams half-dreamt,
His heart slowing,
I stood by him,
My emotions stirring,
A fading portrait I was seeing…

He said it all in his kiss,
Spoke through it these words to me:
“If life be there after this, dearest,
I’ll wait for you an eternity,
In the land of angels,
In perfect bliss!”

And when he carried on,
His journey to lands unseen,
Neither sob nor say,
Did my mouth betray
‘Cause my love wasn’t snatched away
In my womb it snugly lay!